Jackassery

This was an actual email exchange between Corey and I today. I was expecting a package (furniture legs for the settee I am reupholstering). Corey works from home, so I emailed him from work and asked if they arrived in the mail today.

Corey: U didn't get your wooden legs. I already checked the mail.


Me: Any chance I got one of those pink delivery cards in the mail?


Corey: It's peach. Yes you did.


Me: Can you check the box that says redeliver, put "Friday or Saturday" in the redeliver date area, forge my name and put it back in the mail box?


Corey: I was thinking that I might make a hollandaise sauce for tonight's vegetables but then it occured to me that that might not be good enough so I decided to go with a bearnaise sauce . . . if it pleases your majesty.  I'm sticking with the traditional wine reduction to make sure your main course is just as you please.
Please let me know if you found the sheepskin on the inside of your slippers to be fluffed to perfection.  If not, I'll work extra hard tomorrow morning, if it pleases you.